Expressing disappointment can be tough, especially when you want to do so constructively. Choosing the right words can make a big difference in how the other person perceives your feelings. Here are alternatives to say, “I am very disappointed in you,” each with an example of how it can be used in a scenario like an email or conversation.
Discover alternative ways to express disappointment without sounding harsh or repetitive. Learn polite yet impactful phrases to communicate your feelings clearly and constructively in various situations, whether personal or professional. Improve your communication with thoughtful alternatives.
List Of Other Ways to Say ‘I Am Very Disappointed in You’
- I’m let down by this.
- I expected more from this.
- I’m not satisfied with the outcome.
- This didn’t meet my expectations.
- I’m disappointed in how this turned out.
- I had hoped for a better result.
- I feel disheartened by this.
- This is not what I was expecting.
- I’m unhappy with this result.
- This isn’t what I had in mind.
- I was hoping for something different.
- This isn’t quite what I envisioned.
- I feel let down by your decision.
- This isn’t what I was hoping for.
- I’m disheartened by your actions.
- I’m afraid we need to talk about this.
- I didn’t expect you to handle it this way.
1. I Expected Better From You
This phrase highlights that you had higher hopes or standards for the person’s behaviour, making the disappointment more personal.
Example Email:
Subject: Addressing Our Last Conversation
Hi Mia,
I wanted to reach out because I’ve been reflecting on our last discussion. I expected better from you given how long we’ve worked together and the trust we’ve built. The decision you made regarding the project wasn’t in line with what we had discussed, and frankly, it caught me off guard.
I know you’re capable of making better choices, and I hope moving forward, we can communicate more clearly to avoid situations like this.
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase is effective because it directly ties your disappointment to your past experiences with the person, which can motivate them to reflect on their actions.
2. I Thought We Were on the Same Page
Here, you’re expressing that the person’s actions have deviated from what you both agreed upon or understood.
Example Email:
Subject: Recent Decision Regarding the Budget
Hi Mia,
I’ve reviewed the decision you made concerning the new budget, and I have to say, I thought we were on the same page about how to proceed. The changes you implemented weren’t aligned with our previous conversation, which is disappointing.
I trust that you’ll rectify this, but we need to be fully aligned before making major decisions.
Sincerely,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
Using this phrase emphasizes a communication breakdown, which may push the other person to reconsider their actions without feeling outright accused.
3. I’m Not Sure How to Feel About This
This expression leaves room for interpretation, allowing the other person to gauge the seriousness of the situation.
Example Email:
Subject: Clarification Needed
Hi Mia,
I’ve been reviewing your report, and I’m not sure how to feel about this. Some of the points you made seem to go against the standards we set in the beginning. While I appreciate your effort, it’s not up to the level I know you can achieve.
Can we discuss this further to understand what went wrong?
Best regards,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase works well when you want to invite a discussion, rather than shutting down the other person completely. It opens the door for clarification.
4. This Isn’t Like You
By saying this, you’re emphasizing that the behaviour is unusual, which could push the person to reconsider their actions more seriously.
Example Email:
Subject: Your Recent Performance
Hi Mia,
I wanted to talk to you about your recent performance on the project. This isn’t like you—usually, you’re incredibly detail-oriented, but some of the work seemed rushed, and there were several mistakes.
Is something going on that I should be aware of? Let’s discuss how we can get back on track.
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase can have a powerful impact, as it reminds the person of their usual standard and hints at possible external factors influencing their behaviour.
5. I’m Concerned About Your Recent Choices
This expression conveys both disappointment and care, suggesting that the choices being made may have broader implications.
Example Email:
Subject: Recent Decision-Making
Hi Mia,
I wanted to touch base with you regarding some recent choices you’ve made. I’m concerned about your recent choices, particularly regarding the way the team is being managed. It feels like we’re veering off course, and I’m worried it could affect the project’s outcome.
Please let me know how you’re seeing things from your side, as we need to make adjustments moving forward.
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase shows you care about the other person’s well-being and the overall outcome, which can lead to more constructive feedback.
6. I’m Disappointed in the Outcome
Rather than focusing on the individual, this phrase allows you to place the emphasis on the result, softening the blow.
Example Email:
Subject: Project Review
Hi Mia,
I’ve been looking over the final outcome of the project, and to be honest, I’m disappointed in the outcome. I know how hard you worked on it, which makes this all the more frustrating. There are key areas where we missed the mark.
Let’s go over the details so we can avoid similar issues in the future.
Best regards,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
Focusing on the outcome rather than the person can help prevent defensive reactions, making the conversation more productive.
7. I Was Hoping for a Different Result
This phrase shows that you had different expectations without directly criticizing the person.
Example Email:
Subject: Outcome of Your Report
Hi Mia,
I’ve gone through the report, and while I understand the effort you put into it, I was hoping for a different result. There are certain areas that don’t reflect what we discussed, which is disappointing.
Let’s take some time to go over it and see how we can improve for next time.
Sincerely,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
By saying this, you’re emphasizing your hope for a better outcome, which can inspire the person to try harder in the future.
8. I’m Surprised by Your Actions
This expression implies that the person’s behaviour was unexpected, which can prompt reflection.
Example Email:
Subject: Your Approach to the Client Meeting
Hi Mia,
After reviewing the notes from the client meeting, I have to say, I’m surprised by your actions. You didn’t follow through with the agreed strategy, and the result was far from what we were aiming for.
Can we discuss what led to this? I’d like to understand where things went off track.
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
Surprise can sometimes be more effective than anger. It makes the other person think about what they did without feeling attacked.
9. I Didn’t Expect This From You
This phrase can work well when someone has let you down after a history of good behavior.
Example Email:
Subject: Follow-Up on Your Decision
Hi Mia,
I’ve had time to think about the decision you made, and I didn’t expect this from you. Usually, you’re so thorough, but this felt rushed, and I’m left feeling disappointed.
What can we do to fix this and ensure it doesn’t happen again?
Best regards,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase makes it clear that the person has previously met your expectations, which can push them to correct their behaviour.
10. This Isn’t the Standard I Know You Hold
Here, you’re pointing out that the person’s actions don’t align with their usual standards, encouraging them to reflect.
Example Email:
Subject: Quality of the Recent Report
Hi Mia,
I’ve reviewed your recent report, and I have to say, this isn’t the standard I know you hold. The details were lacking, and several errors could’ve been avoided.
Let’s work together to make sure we get things back to the level we both know you’re capable of.
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This approach avoids being overly harsh while still expressing that the person’s work didn’t meet expectations.
11. I Can’t Ignore What Happened
This phrase emphasizes that the issue is serious and requires attention.
Example Email:
Subject: Addressing the Issue
Hi Mia,
I’ve been thinking about what happened yesterday, and I can’t ignore what happened. Your approach to the problem was not what we had discussed, and it caused some unnecessary confusion.
We need to address this so it doesn’t happen again. Let’s set up a time to talk this through.
Best regards,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
By saying you “can’t ignore” the situation, you’re highlighting its importance without being confrontational.
12. This Wasn’t What We Agreed On
This phrase is useful when someone has gone against an agreement or plan.
Example Email:
Subject: Project Discrepancies
Hi Mia,
I’ve gone over the latest project updates, and this wasn’t what we agreed on. We discussed a specific approach, but the final output is quite different. I’m disappointed, as this affects the timeline and overall quality of the project.
Please let me know why this change occurred, and let’s find a way to fix it.
Sincerely,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
When there’s a breach in agreement, this phrase helps keep the conversation focused on facts rather than emotions.
13. I Feel Let Down by Your Decision
This expression focuses on your feelings, making the disappointment more personal.
Example Email:
Subject: Your Decision Regarding the Marketing Strategy
Hi Mia,
After reviewing your decision on the marketing strategy, I have to be honest, I feel let down by your decision. It’s not in line with the vision we had for this project, and I was hoping for something more innovative.
Can we discuss what went into making this choice and how we can improve moving forward?
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
By making it personal, this phrase encourages the other person to consider the emotional impact of their actions.
14. This Isn’t What I Was Hoping For
This phrase softens the disappointment while still making your feelings clear.
Example Email:
Subject: Your Latest Submission
Hi Mia,
I’ve gone through your latest submission, and this isn’t what I was hoping for. Some aspects were great, but others didn’t align with what we discussed. I believe we can make this much better.
Let’s work together to revise it.
Best regards,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase conveys that while the effort may have been appreciated, the final result didn’t meet expectations.
15. I’m Disheartened by Your Actions
This phrase conveys emotional disappointment, suggesting that the behaviour was particularly hurtful.
Example Email:
Subject: Your Approach to the Team
Hi Mia,
I wanted to bring something to your attention. I’m disheartened by your actions in the meeting today. You spoke in a way that didn’t foster the kind of collaboration we’ve worked hard to build within the team.
I hope we can find a way to address this because it’s not the atmosphere we want to encourage here.
Best regards,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
Using the word “disheartened” adds an emotional layer that can drive the other person to reconsider their approach.
16. I’m Afraid We Need to Talk About This
This phrase signals that the issue is significant enough to require a conversation.
Example Email:
Subject: Urgent Discussion Needed
Hi Mia,
I’m afraid we need to talk about this. The recent changes you made to the project without consulting the team have caused some major setbacks, and I’m really concerned about how this is affecting our timeline.
Please let me know when you’re available to discuss this.
Sincerely,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase shows urgency and importance, ensuring that the other person knows the gravity of the situation.
17. I Didn’t Expect You to Handle It This Way
By saying this, you’re implying that the person’s approach was surprising and not up to the expected standard.
Example Email:
Subject: Handling of Client Feedback
Hi Mia,
I’ve been reviewing how you handled the client’s feedback, and I didn’t expect you to handle it this way. I thought we had agreed on a different approach, and the way it was presented was disappointing.
Let’s go over this to ensure we’re aligned moving forward.
Best,
Hannah
Additional Insights:
This phrase implies that the other person has fallen short of your expectations in a way that needs immediate attention.
